So as we've all read in the papers, the U.S. government has begun closing down the now infamous prison of Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. The big issue now of course, is where to send all of the various international prisoners that threaten freedom and democracy. It seems as though water-boarding and other equally unsavoury methods of torture proved ineffective in getting these purportedly evil-doers to confess their crimes. From FBI to CIA to CSIS, no technique, no amount of torture and pain could force these hardened guys to crack. Seems like the pros need a plan B- a sure-thing for securing confessions. Something even Jack Bauer from the TV show 24 has never envisioned in his twisted mind...
May I suggest an experience of tortuous pain; so cruel, so unforgiving, brutal and merciless no human-being could stand to endure it a minute longer than the four and a half hours it takes to complete?
May I suggest, my minivan, en-route to Montreal and filled to the hilt with three boys aged five and under, a zoned-out mother (me!), a father with the patience of a stick of C4 and a senseless amount of crap jamming up every square inch of space.
Now add to this frantic image in your mind some quasi-familiar, yet undetectable bitter stench and of course, some audio. The 5-year old is constantly hollering, "how much longer...I hate this!!!!!", the 3-year old is whining, "Wyatt's bothering me...ouch...my neck hurts...(sob)...I'm so hungry", and the 2-year old, is thrusting his body forward repeatedly in his car seat, lurching and trying in vain to grab at me, all the while screaming, "mummy....mummy!.....mummmy.....MUMMY!!!!!".
Now take this image in your mind, and drag it out over multiple long hours, non-stop, the noise escalating, the cries piercing your very core while your soul begs for mercy and you fight back the unstoppable urge to scream through tears, "SHUT-UP- YOU FLIPPING KIDS ARE DRIVING ME MENTAL, I'M BEGGING YOU, PLEASE STOP". Instead you opt every two hours for a more nurturing "WHO WANTS A SNACK (so you can shut your pie-holes for 5-minutes)?"
We always arrive to our vacation destination worse-for-the-wear and swearing off any chance of travelling long-distances again. After being cooped up in our little slice of hell-on-wheels, anything seems like a good vacation. "Rain, mosquitoes and all three kids have a gastro-virus? YES! At least it's better than the van ride!"
Happy travels this summer!
